Our columnist says fall is the perfect season to show up for yourself
When the weather snaps, the days shorten, and the earth is covered in the must-and-mildew smell of wet leaves, we know summer has left us. Overnight, fall is everywhere. In this seasonal shift, some people may start to work longer hours at their job. Others might begin to clean out their spaces or organize what they have. But many people feel a quickening within—a clear call to another kind of action. What’s that about? It’s hunting season.
How is that relevant to our relationships today? Whether you are single, divorced, widowed, unhappily married, or your marriage/partnership has gone stale, it’s important to remember–everyone is hunting for love. Life has a hungry heart. It wants to be fed.
Why is this heightened in the fall? Because winter is near. You know it; you can feel it. The signs of fall remind us that we need nourishment, not only now, but
stored up for the days to come.
Metaphorically and literally, this is why our brain is especially triggered at this time. In the context of relationships, what we’re hunting for is what sustains us from the inside out. In the wilderness of mankind, we are looking with more intensity and scrutiny for the emotional connection that will not only feed us but hold us tight. Our souls crave love and loyalty, someone who cares and someone we care about.
In fall, there are more people looking to meet someone; “open season” means the population that is being sought is at its peak. Pursuers want to find a mutually devoted companion. This is a perfect time in your life to show up for yourself.
You may want to ignore the call of the season that urges you forward, but it’s hard to deny thinking about what provisions will be necessary to make it through the winter. Just as we need food, water, air, and shelter, we have skin hunger, the biological need for human touch.
We also want to share the intimacies of our lives. Talking with someone we feel is an equal, whom we respect and admire, gives us immeasurable comfort and grounding. Romantic relationships of substance and maturity promote bonding, relieve stress, and contribute to authentic growth.
Winter is coming for us all. You know you can make it through with good friends, but you could do it with a fabulous partner. It’s possible. It’s open season.
Want to find someone this fall?
- Build a team of scouts. Tell your family, friends, and colleagues you want to meet someone kind, generous, and wonderful.
- Get yourself ready. Looking good and feeling good are essential. Get a workout buddy, a trainer, a stylist.
- Get online and find the best dating app for you. Commit an hour a day to work on it. If you’re not getting any traction, find a different one.
- Get out of the house. Smile and talk to people. Honestly—it works.
Tonja Evetts Weimer is an author, columnist, life coach, and relationship coach who specializes in challenges for today’s singles. Her award-winning column, Savvy Dating, ran in newspapers across the U.S. and Canada, reaching millions. She’s also the author of Thriving After Divorce: Transforming Your Life When A Relationship Ends. Reach out to her at tonja@tonjaweimer.com.
