Rosa Knows

Photography courtesy of Kessler Marketing.

A local author considers masculinity and massage.

What is the problem with us men? As a card-carrying, lifetime member of the gender, I’m allowed, by rule, to ask these questions. Why do we shy away from things that are good for us? Why don’t we take care of ourselves, pamper ourselves? It’s probably the whole He-Man thing. Look, I like bass fishing in a jon boat. I like sweating when I cut my own grass. I like dogs without a pedigree that shed in the truck. I like cheap beer in tall cans. And I like going to the spa.

Note: get your mind out of the truck stop. I’m not talking about that kind of spa. I’m talking the type of spa where men rarely venture, one with thick robes and soft music that slows the brain down and candles that smell like a European forest. A spa where licensed professionals possess hands that should be declared national treasures. A place, say, like Poseidon Spa at Grand Bohemian Lodge in Greenville.

That’s where I meet Rosa. Rosa with the Italian accent. Rosa with the magic hands. Rosa who, when I tell her I’m here for my massage, laughs and says she is “not giving a massage.” Rather, she’s going to send me on “any man’s journey to heaven. Have you ever been to heaven?” So I take the trip. Eighty minutes of hot compresses and warm oil and Rosa’s miraculous fingers. All my stress and anxiety flee like thieves in the night. That ache in my back where I’m holding the worry about my father in the assisted living facility? Gone. The crick in my neck where I store the list of things I ran out of time to do—find a dog sitter, pressure wash the deck, rewrite that crappy chapter in the new novel—well, suddenly the list evaporates. My mind, which was racing, suddenly (and happily) purrs in the slow lane. That’s why I go to Poseidon. To find a nice spot in the slow lane.

But Rosa says I’m not normal, especially in the South. Men here, she says, “don’t think getting pampered is masculine. But massage is not just pampering. It’s preventive. It improves your mood and concentration. You sleep better. You have less anxiety, better circulation.” Rosa knows she is preaching to the proverbial choir-of-one, but I’ll say this: Rosa is passionate. She keeps preaching. “I really connect with my clients in a different way. I really want to change their lives, do something for them in a human way. Some people just need a human touch. Everybody is stressed these days. Massage can change this. It can change your life. That’s more than pampering, right?”

We men, most times we don’t know what’s good for us. We don’t realize how little effort it takes to call a place like Grand Bohemian Lodge and connect with Poseidon Spa and book a slot in the slow lane. We think it isn’t manly. But we’re idiots. We need more Rosa in our lives.

Poseidon Spa at Grand Bohemian Lodge, 44 E. Camperdown Way, Greenville, 864.603.1780, poseidon.greenville@aagspa.com 

Schedule a Massage Near You

Along with Poseidon Spa, consider a self-care day at the following places:

Scott Gould’s next book, Idiot Men, is forthcoming in November.

 

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